The nephews were dropped off to stay. Their parents came with a cake and together as a family we sang Happy Birthday to Ayo. He's nine now. I first met him with wobbly baby legs, clutching to the back of a chair learning to stand. His older brother Nathi was just five and I've been present in their world ever since.

Chatter flew through our home. Our baby lay in her aunty's arms, receiving endless coos. Their parents stayed for a while and then waved us goodbye, leaving their not-so-little ones with us. "See you later next week" their mother called to me as she left. She'll be coming on Wednesday to start preparing Umqombothi, a traditional beer for ancestral ceremonies. In a week we'll have more family visiting, to bless the new Dzedze child.

I sat on the big green couch. Food bubbled on the stove. "Ayo, can you please stir that pot for me." I called to him. And then threw the Xhosa word for 'stir' across the room. "Zamisa"

"I understand everything Aunty" he grinned. "I see Uncle has been teaching you Xhosa."

I told him it's true. Sometimes he teaches me a little more. But he didn't teach me the word zamisa. "You know who did?" I smiled back at him. I beckoned him close. "When you were little, before you could speak English, your uncle went to work shooting soapies and I looked after you. I'd be cooking in the kitchen and you would run to me and say, "Ndi funu zamisa!" (I want to stir)" I would pick you up and let you help me. You were little then."

Ayo and Nathi laughed at my high pitched impression of younger Ayo. A warmth visited the space between us. An acknowledgment of how long we've now journeyed life together and a new depth of connection arrived.

One at a time they held their baby cousin. Two cautious boys, rocking and kissing my daughter. Their blood and my blood, in one place, one being. Our child has brought us closer and legitimized us as family. There's no denying the impact of it.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" I asked Ayo. "Like Uncle!" he said, without thought. The same answer still. He knows. He went on to tell me how they often ask him that question when he's at home in the township. He doesn't answer them there, convinced that they will only cast darkness upon his heart's pursuits.

He told the kids at school that his uncle is an actor on TV. "They say I'm lying" he expressed, upset. We discussed how maybe those kids didn't imagine it was possible for that to be true, because they didn't have an uncle to look up to like him. He agreed.

I suggested we write a script. Shoot a home video that he and his uncle act in together. He lit up at the idea and we announced it on The Dzedzes instagram stories for the world to follow along. This morning we sat and discussed characters and I was given a window into their township world.

"A gangster who robs cars" was the first idea. I laughed at the idea of an eight year old gangster robbing cars. Ayo looked at me stern. "I'm sorry Ayo, NINE! You're nine now!" A nine year old gangster robbing cars...

"A man who borrows money to people" came next. We whittled it down. He was talking about a loan shark.

"A policeman!" Nathi put forward.

I challenged the idea of a fourteen year old policeman too. Keen to find ways to make it all work. Suggested we take some time to think about the characters and come back to it later.

"No I have one good idea!" Ayo protested.

I was all ears.

"I'll be a good boy. With toy cars. Eating my sweets."

I couldn't help but wonder what world these two beautiful boys will open for my child. Worlds I could never introduce her to.