Jacqlyne & Hamish.

I’ve been wanting to write about these incredible friends for a while, but where to begin?!

I met Hamish first. Over eight years ago at his workplace in Johannesburg. Mr Dzedze and I were young, discovering love and I was being introduced to friends. We sat several stories high in a Braamfontein building, chatting about the art I was creating and conversation turned to Hamish’s girlfriend, Jacqlyne. He gloated about her singing voice and how special she is to him. His warmth when speaking about her was infectious and I knew and named that I wanted to meet her. 

It was days later that Jacqlyne introduced herself. I still remember the green outfit I was wearing, the car I was driving, and the kindness of her smile. It felt vulnerable to want friendship with strangers, but I trusted her. She was the first person I really found a friend in here in South Africa and we’ve journeyed the ups and downs of life ever since.

Together, Jacqlyne and Hamish have held us through our darkest days. Witnessed us at breaking point, supported us in process, and cheered for us in love. They both were at our wedding in the UK, as best man and bridesmaid, and I have no doubt there’s a long road ahead. The kind of long road that my parents shared with friends who we now hold as family, whose children grew up with me, near and far.

Last year, upon finding out we were pregnant, Nyaniso and I agreed to keep the news to ourselves. It had been days since I had taken the pregnancy test when Hamish came to visit. He stared at me like I was a riddle. “Your face has changed!” he insisted, trying to figure out why. I hid in the corner of the kitchen, unable to hide my amusement, buried my laughter in the fridge and thought "of course, he can see our child." He could sense her. That moment spoke worlds, of the friendship formed and the truth that our daughter was arriving into a village that would raise her.

Both Jacqlyne and Hamish watched as my belly grew. They entertained Nyaniso and I as we talked our way through the promise of a whole new life ahead, shared our lessons about birth and babies, and told tales of the things our little one was communicating in spirit. They both couldn’t wait to meet her and felt connected to her already.   

When she was born, the only people I was certain I wanted to invite to our home was them. Something about their presence in our lives has always held point for community and the kind of connection that I wish for my child to know and embody. Jacqlyne and Hamish are humans who I trust. To see our blind spots, hold us to our highest, be with us in love. They are friends who affirm and celebrate life itself, who honour the nuances and complexities of existence and continue to explore it, boldly.

It was Heritage Day when our daughter met them first. Thirty-seven days ago. Of all visits, that one felt most sacred. Mr Dzedze lit impepho, cleansed the space, and spoke prayers. We told our little one that loved ones were arriving and the spirit of our home felt alert, present to the tenderness of it all. Jacqlyne and Hamish entered as Aunt and Uncle, washed hands, and knelt with us by the altar. There they held our child, the child of our village, for the first time.

Over the past weeks since, they have since supported, immensely. As Nyaniso has flown out of town for work, they have stayed over and held us as Mama and Baby. They scoop her from my arms, listen to her voice and hear it. Play games with her and cradle her. Help her to find her perfect nuzzle spot as they pace up and down the home with her. They have cooked and fed us, kept my mind quizzical and pondering the way I enjoy so much. As I have felt far from home and my family at times, I have felt close to home too, through them.

This share is one to celebrate what is possible when we say yes to connection. Whilst I’m still learning to lean into receiving support, I am beyond grateful - not only for what these two have offered in practicalities and emotional pouring, but even more so, the simple truth of who they are and what arrives in our world with their presence.