My daughter has taught me something valuable that I will be eternally grateful for. She has taught and continues to teach me what I can only describe as unconditional love.

I love.

I thought I loved, I thought I knew how to love or even how big love gets in me, but I was wrong. Love (I now feel) is infinite. It is endless, boundless and constantly pouring itself through me. Maybe it was all already there and it took my child's entrance in this world to unlock it for me.

I began feeling it around the early days of Mrs Dzedze's pregnancy. As the days, weeks and months passed, as she grew, so too did those feelings inside of me. It started off as simple moments of caring and attentiveness. That soon turned to doting, endless foot rubs, cooking and my wife becoming more and more beautiful before my eyes. Every other chattering thought and questioning doubt for my love and belonging in this relationship, became quieter and quieter. The bright burning over-pouring affection I have for her kept washing over me.

I've never cared for my wife as much as I did during her pregnancy. I had never attended to her every need and ask as much, nor had I ever had as much patience for her as I did during that time.

I was told many stories about how clashing with my wife when she was pregnant was inevitable. I was told it would be difficult and grueling in countless ways. It was not. I was even surprised at myself. I attended every HypnoBirthing class, every doula meeting, every scan and check up. Every one of them was incredibly precious to me.

I think it had to do with inviting me into my heart. I think it was about inviting me to feel, to soften to let go of the hard shells I thought I needed to encase myself in. It was about being more of me and giving myself to everything that needed to pour out of me... Boy did it pour. I wept gently at every scan and check up. I breathed deeply into every moment. All the way to the moment that our daughter arrived and I caught her in my hands.

Rewind a little...

At some point I stopped to ask myself why I was rubbing feet so much? Why all the back rubs, hand massages and doting? Why? Even when I didn't feel like it, I felt like it. I finally resolved to say, "It must be Baby in her." I was right, It was our baby ripping this love hole open in me. What I didn't take into account though, is how it would stay open. Mrs Dzedze is no longer pregnant and Baby is here but what I saw in her, what grew in me for her, stayed.

I still have patience for her, still see her radiant beauty. I still love how she looks, how her body shapes, even more than the time when she was at the height of her gym-going days. My love for my wife has never felt so independent, free-flowing and existent in what the new school calls "rent-free." It doesn't depend on anything.

Not her looks, whether she cooks or not, finally picks up after herself or remembers to put the food away before going to sleep. I don't care what she does or doesn't do. I don't care what she loses or gains. I don't care at all. My only concern is that she draws breath, is happy, loves me and still wishes to journey with me.

Before now, I have never told her all of this (in case she gets big headed, you know.) I guess now she knows it all.

For all of this I say thank you Alatha. You've taught me love. I won't even go into how my heart has burst open for you this time. That's a whole different chapter of love that I am still wrapping my simple mind around.

I love you daughter and I thank you.